8 Goals I’ve Abandoned Since Having Baby #2

Who doesn’t love a Buzzfeed-style list article? Here are 8 standards that are now hopelessly unattainable... because it’s important to know when to give up.

1. Arriving on time to anything

I’m proud if I manage to get out of the house at all. If we get to church before the Gospel reading, I believe it still counts as “Orthodox On-Time.”

2. Saying morning prayers in the morning

Morning prayers happen after we have all gotten dressed and ready for the day, which usually isn’t before noon. That’s if they happen at all, and I’m afraid I’ve been skipping them a lot lately. When I do say them, it might not be the prayers in the prayer book. It might just be a “Lord, have mercy!” muttered under my breath as I survey the chaos that has overrun my life.

3. Eating out with both children

If a restaurant doesn’t have a playground inside it, I don’t want to eat there.

4. Cloth diapering

Sorry, Earth. I can’t keep up with the laundry as it is, and I certainly don’t have time to add on a load of dirty diapers every day. Those Heavy Duty loads take like 2 hours on HE machines! The irony is that if I had a washer that was less “green,” I might be able to keep using cloth diapers. Hmmmm.

5. Strictly limiting screen time for the older child

Mommy needs you watch Daniel Tiger now.

6. Closely supervising the older child at all times

Sometimes my toddler runs off to another room while I am nursing the baby. Do I try to chase him down while the baby is still latched on? No. I figure he’ll be OK by himself for a few minutes. Probably.

7. Staying until the end of an event

This goes along with #1. Our strategy is arrive late, leave early. There is a vanishingly small window of time during which it is possible to keep a baby quiet and a toddler contained.

8. Maintaining respectable standards of personal grooming

It’s hard to find time to shower when you have two young kids. You could wait until both are asleep at the same time, but that’s like waiting for a planetary alignment. No, your best bet is to wait until the toddler is asleep (or watching Daniel Tiger in a toddler-proof space... see #5 and #6), and just bring the baby into the bathroom with you.

How long can you count on a baby to stay content in her baby rocker chair? Maybe 5 minutes? And what would you rather do with those 5 minutes: wash out the dried spit-up encrusting your hair, or shave your legs? That’s what I thought.